GeZi World II

November 7, 2006

Real Moments of Zen

Filed under: General — gezi @ 11:50 am
  1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me the hell alone.
  2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  3. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
  4. Sex is like air. It’s not important unless you aren’t getting any.
  5. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  6. No one is listening until you fart.
  7. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
  8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  9. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  11. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  14. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
  15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
  16. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
  17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  18. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  19. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
  20. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
  21. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  22. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed…

Leave a Comment »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: